


Guess I’m a Coward

by meowryo05



Category: Video Blogging RPF, mcyt
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Self-Harm, im projecting lol, phils a dick sorry, techno and wil r mentioned once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:41:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29488467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowryo05/pseuds/meowryo05
Summary: if this sucks don’t mention it my arm hurts like a bitch and my head feels fuzzy lol
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Guess I’m a Coward

**Author's Note:**

> if this sucks don’t mention it my arm hurts like a bitch and my head feels fuzzy lol

Tommy doesn't know why his head hurt so much. The day had been a complete blur. Where is he...? His head felt like cotton. He could barely think. His arm hurts...... What's going on?

He can hear someone talking... Who's with him?

Once he comes back to his senses, he sees Phil yelling at him. What did he do now? 

“Tommy, are you even listening to me?” Phil yell-asks, gripping his shoulder harder.

“No sorry, I didn't catch much of that,” Tommy replies, “heads all fuzzy n’ shit.” 

“Of course you weren't paying attention” Phil sighs and let's go off Tommy. He walks towards his doorway... When did he get to his room?

“I said that I'm taking your computer and phone tomorrow. I got an email from your school saying that you haven't been to school in a month, a whole fucking month! Do you understand how much trouble I can get in for that? You probably do, you just fucking hate me so you don't care. Anyways, I'm leaving with some workmates to have dinner, I won't be home till later,” Phil says, he's probably going out drinking- “Don't do anything while I'm gone, Wilbur said he would be here soon.” He finishes walking out of Tommy's room.

Tommy sighs. He's heard those same words leave Phil’s mouth more than he'd like to admit. He gets off his bed and walks toward his bathroom. My heads fuckin’ killing me... Where's the damn ibuprofen..? Phil yells from downstairs that he's leaving and he hears the door close. 

Shit

Phil took the ibuprofen when Wilbur came over and tried to convince Phil to let him sell it.

Tommy silently walks back to his room, groaning in irritation when he finally realizes what happened. Phil threatened to take away all his shit again and went out drinking. Great

He hopes he's sleeping by the time Phil gets back home.

His head goes fuzzy again, his thoughts going faster. He fucked up again. Why does he keep doing that? What can Phil say to make him care about the consequences? Why does he keep making Phil so mad? Why does he keep hurting his dad? The man who provides food and shelter for him. The man that buys him clothes and loves him unconditionally? ~~The man that ignores him when he tells him he no longer has the motivation to live. The man that favors his older brother over him. The man that always turns the blame on Tommy when he's hurt, that makes everything about himself when Tommy tries to tell him about his awful he makes him feel. The same man that threatened to feed him less if he didn't stop eating a little more than normal....~~

A pit forms in his stomach. He can't breathe. 

He desperately needs to hurt. He deserves it surely? 

He's such a shit kid. He can't even fucking leave the house. He makes his dad's life a living hell. 

Where is his knife?? Did Phil take that too? Fuck

He franticly looks around for something, anything that would help. He looks at his desk.

Scissors. Bingo

He grabs the scissors and grabs the nearest piles of tissues and runs to his bed.

He opens the scissors and starts moving the dull blade back and forth on his forearm. He pulls away once he's satisfied with the cut. He watches as the blood beads on the cut. It doesn't drip because of how dull the scissors were. He continues to harshly pull the blade on his skin. His arm full of small cuts and blood once he finally stops. 

Tears fall from his eyes and hit the cuts. 

They burn. He takes the tissues and starts cleaning up his arm. It still stings from how hard he rubbed the dried blood. He didn't bother running it under water and collapsed onto his bed. He isn't convinced that Wilbur would be there any time soon. He probably isn't coming at all.

He leaves the bloodied tissues on the floor, Phil probably wouldn't see them anyways. He pulls down his sleeve and closes his eyes, attempting to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> lmk if there r any spelling mistake or something 
> 
> bother me on twitter @k0utagor3


End file.
